waiting on the front porch

she just stood there on the front porch waiting for her will to come and get her she was packed she had a suitcase full of noble intentions she had a map and a straight face hell bent on reinvention she was learning about please and huge humilities then one day she looked around her and everything up til then was showing and she wondered how did i get here without even knowing where i was going? ~ani difranco

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Location: montreal, quebec, Canada


Wednesday, November 29, 2006


i have been voraciously attracted to green things for the past couple years; i'm not sure when it started. mossy tree trunks, wet grass, maple leaves, radishes, cucumbers, acrylic paint. i stare at whatever it is, mesmerized, and feel calmed, energized, healed, nurtured, and held up to the light, all by one striking note of colour.

green heals me. it reminds me of the earth; of regeneration; of stopping still; of being.

i'm feeling off-balance today, for the simple reason that i haven't been taking care of myself for a few days. not taking care of myself means: not having bought healthy food a few days ago when i should have; not meditating; not doing yoga yesterday; not sleeping well. not taking
care of myself. i mean this more as a gentle reminder that the steps i have taken worked in stabilizing me, and i should continue to do them.

i feel like a need a hug, is all. lately, i've felt strong enough to wrap my arms around myself and hang on. right now, not so much.


Blogger Deb R said...


That's the best I can do for now, but I hope you can feel it.

PS...I tried earlier to come see what you were talking about re: the short story you mentioned, but I got an error message. It's finally letting me load your page though. Sheesh. The story sounds, um...interesting.

PPS...I hope you know I meant stream of consciousness as a Good Thing! Not everyone can do posts that move like water from one thought to the next and do them well. You can and do.

8:34 p.m.  
Blogger Jessie said...

i have long arms that stretch all the way from minnesota to montreal. it works out nice because this way i can give you a nice big hug. {{{hug}}} feel it?

now go eat some potatoes. it will make you feel better. :)- *laughing!*

8:39 p.m.  
Blogger Shaz said...

OOHHhhhhh I Just want to squeeze squeeze squeeze YOU SOooo tight.
Sweet Sweet B, Im going to be a nana now and tell you to eat your greens and drink some juice....There r u listening to me....I cant here you. I am watching you know, naughty gal.(giggle)

9:29 p.m.  
Blogger blackdaisies said...

through the cold icicles of snow stretched canadian highway, my arms reach out limber trees and green leafs burst out of fingertips as I embrace the beauty of you ...

a hug from me to you with all the warmth of the green fuzzy sweater i am wearing : )

take care of you cause I only just found you and know that you deserve that!!

10:14 p.m.  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

Sweet girl, I am sending you a BIG HUGE WARM HUG!!!!!! Remember, this too shall pass...you are almost done with your semester....keep going....you are almost there!

{{{{{{{hugs & kisses to you}}}}}}

10:58 p.m.  
Anonymous swampgrrl said...

((((( you green girl )))))

the great thing about getting off balance is that it gives oodles of opportunity to return to balance. sometimes that's half the fun.

5:12 a.m.  
Blogger bee said...

thanks you guys. i felt every one of your hugs. (hug you right back)

5:57 a.m.  
Blogger j said...

Dude! This 'taking care of yourself' thing is continuous, no days off from taking care of yourself! Go, now: out of your list of things you do to take care of yourself (eating well, sleeping, yoga, etc) pick 2, and do them, do them now now now.

7:37 a.m.  
Blogger bb said...

Hope you found some green to wrap yourself in hugs with :-D Love the Neruda poem above, too x

9:01 a.m.  
Blogger Spiky Zora Jones said...

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

brown paper packages tied up with strings

these are a few of my favorite things...plus you bee

Big Hugs and little hugs for you sweet, sweet bee. feel better soon.

11:09 a.m.  
Blogger melba said...

What a beautiful picture! Take care of yourself Bee!


10:24 a.m.  

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