waiting on the front porch

she just stood there on the front porch waiting for her will to come and get her she was packed she had a suitcase full of noble intentions she had a map and a straight face hell bent on reinvention she was learning about please and huge humilities then one day she looked around her and everything up til then was showing and she wondered how did i get here without even knowing where i was going? ~ani difranco

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Location: montreal, quebec, Canada


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

under the weather

i feel like i've been quieter lately, although that doesn't appear to be the case - i'm still posting every few days, which i guess is good. my posts have been lacking something though - for me - and i can't quite put my finger on it. i guess that it's just that i'm not really thinking about much.

i have a sneaking feeling something is up with my health, so i'm making an appointment to see the doctor. i haven't really bounced back from that fever/migraine combo of two weeks ago. i'm pretty tired; i've been sleeping 12 hours a night, and while that sounds luxurious, it's sort of scaring me, because my body just shuts off when it feels like it. i'm lucky to get to 9 pm. these days. and i feel foggy throughout the day - at work i'm getting the reputation of a well-meaning space cadet. (well, not really. but that's what i think.)

i'm also working a lot: they suckered me in for 6 days this week. the good thing about that is is that i'm rubbing up against all these health products so today i finally caved and bought some wheat grass juice. my boss keeps feeding me all these articles about health issues in hopes that she can fix me.
i'm contemplating doing a fast/cleanse once i eat a bit more of my groceries...(right around the christmas season! riiiight!) to see if that will clean me out a bit.

i've been watching "girl with a pearl earring" and getting really into art again. my god, i wish i was artistic. like, truly artistic, and not in the folk-arty kind of way that i am. i admire people who can use their hands to create art so much.
there's this part in the movie where griet and vermeer are sitting side by side crushing the tints to make paint, and i got such a visceral reaction from it...can you imagine creating a painting from every step? stretching the canvas, crushing the pigment, adding water to make paint, manipulating the brushes, and making something breathe underneath your touch?

i love art. i think i love all types of it. it lodges right into my solar plexus and makes me think, makes me ache to get my hands dirty, gives me a million ideas even as i focus slowly on one aspect...yum.

i'd love to trade inspiration with you. what inspires you? can we give each other new directions to follow?


Blogger Cheshire Cat said...

I have two paintings which inspire me(one a poster of a painting, one painted for me by my boyfriend) that i put on the walls surrounding my computer. One is "Ophelia" by Arthur Hughes and the other is a painting of a rooster and the chinese symbol for rooster ontop of a big rooster head in the background. When I'm sitting at my computer trying to think of something to write on my blog, i find myself starring at these two paintings. Which might be why so many of my posts have "Hamlet" references, hehe.

5:37 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh bee, i wish i was artistic too! i almost didn't post the "meme" because my first thought was "i'm not an artist!" then i decided "what better way to challenge myself." no promises on the quality, haha.

you and i need to have a chat...SOON.
(and i'm going to go and rent girl with a pearl earring...)

5:40 p.m.  
Blogger Jessie said...

oh you make me smile.
ok...so i'll try my best to tell you what inspires me:
*the sky
*color combinations found in nature
*the way people move
*art galleries
*coffee shops
*book stores
*communicating with people that i really, really connect with (including you!!)
*walking in the woods--maybe it's the combination of fresh air and exercise.
*art magazines--like new american paintings, art in america, art forum...
*random beauty
*random ugliness
*children's books
*poetry readings
*listening to good music
*reading blogs
*candles/ incense
*writing workshops (which i'm beginning to miss!)
*the smell of oil paints
*the sound of a pen or pencil on paper

how's that for a start? i love ya bee-pea. thanks for getting me to think about this. ;) happy art making. you make me want to get my paint brushes dirty! ok. i think i'll do that right now. see...now this is what i love about you!! :)

that was my favorite part of the movie too...it did the same thing to me.

7:30 p.m.  
Blogger Cheryl said...

I've had that feeling about blogs too. It's funny how sometimes we can just feel like we're not saying anything.

8:33 p.m.  
Blogger DebR said...

I think blogs are like anything else - very cyclical. Sometimes we're just more on in terms of having lots to say and interesting ways to say it. Sometimes not so much. I'm still enjoying your posts, but I'm just saying I know exactly what you mean.

I hope you start to feel better soon. I agree about the sleep thing...sleeping 12 hours now and then is a luxury, but when it turns into every night it interferes with life!

PS...Sent you an email about WP tonight.

9:40 p.m.  
Blogger Vesper said...

i pulled out my pastels tonight and my black pencils.

5:12 a.m.  
Blogger daisies said...

i loved that movie : )

i think i'm lucky because my mom is a fab artist and so the beautiful colour and messyness of paints has been a constant in my life ... she inspires me ...

so do all you lovely bloggies, bookstores, coffeeshops, going to the art gallery, walking through the city, fantastic conversations, and reading philosophy ~ whenever i need a quick inspirational fix, i pull someone of the shelf and soon i am seeing the world through new eyes ...

and bee ... i am sure that you are artistic ~ i like how my duke puts it, 'natural talent helps but doing the time is what makes it' ... if you love it and you do the time than you will find your inner artist :)

8:31 a.m.  
Blogger daisies said...

and sending you all kinds of 'feeling better' vibes ... :)

8:32 a.m.  
Blogger Spiky Zora Jones said...

hey bee, i am having issues on responding to your posts, going on a week now. I think i figured out the problem..
Art...i love art. i come from a family artist...all 12 of us, same father and mother too. I had 3 years of art classes...but they bored me. i wanted to get dirty too. I wanted to experiment with ideas of expression. though I've given all of my work away along the way.
I'm working on a sketching of a friend but it is taking me a long time to finish. I'm pulled to water colors and want to venture deeper into it. I don't have much free time and when i do i read and spend time with family. my time is limited.
um...here's a trick. an example would be...if you are sketching or painting a tree or a an old shack and you can't quite get it right, turn it upside down. your mind will see it in a different way. Try it, you will see that it seems easier.
i love Vermeer's paintings. they say a great artist reveals the souls of their subjects. i think it is more the artist reveals more their own soul. each piece oiece of artwork revealing more and more of the artist.
sorry i get carried away at times....later bee. hope you feel better real soon.

1:27 p.m.  
Blogger Hulles said...

One of the truly beautiful things that has inspired me lately is, oddly enough, a cookbook: Cafe Paradiso Seasons, by Denis Cotter. He's an Irish vegetarian chef, probably the best veggie chef around. The book is beautiful in the same way that the best people are - inside and out. The "outside", the photos and such, is gorgeous and inspirational in itself. Add to that the "inside," the wonderful recipes and Cotter's comments, and you, my dear, have yourself a damn fine cookbook.

Sorry to ramble on, but you asked. Take care dear.

1:28 p.m.  
Blogger a m y said...

hope you're feeling better! inspiration for me is always found at the art museum or on a long walk. good luck!

3:12 p.m.  
Blogger a m y said...

hope you're feeling better! inspiration for me is always found at the art museum or on a long walk. good luck!

3:12 p.m.  
Blogger JanePoe said...

Dear Bee ... thank you for the lovely comment on my site, you're such a dear. I'm glad you've made an appt to go to see the doctor, listen to that internal voice of yours and trust that you know your body better than anyone. Regarding inspiration, I love going to museums, to see the brush strokes, to sit with a picture and let myself soak it up. I need to do more of that, as it's definitely good for my soul.
Much peace & love, JP

9:15 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was young, th eonly things I knew I was good at were writing and art. I would spend hours sketching... But it fell away sometime in high school, and now I miss being good at it. I would love to have the time to pick it up again, an dget good at it. My little boy seems to have artistic talent, and I can tell he feels good about it. That makes me happy.

Feel better!

:) Amber (stupid blogger is being difficult with me.)

9:22 p.m.  
Anonymous ceanandjen said...

I do hope that you feel better soon. It has always been my experience that when I am in super-girl-go-mode, it is when I actually stop, that I feel the exhaustion permeate my body. You were in non-stop mode for so long, that now your body is making you relax and rejuvenate.

Hmmm, what inspires me?

-the weather
-my surroundings
-my mood
-candle light

and the list could probably go on and on....

Love and health to you!!!!

9:59 p.m.  

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