waiting on the front porch

she just stood there on the front porch waiting for her will to come and get her she was packed she had a suitcase full of noble intentions she had a map and a straight face hell bent on reinvention she was learning about please and huge humilities then one day she looked around her and everything up til then was showing and she wondered how did i get here without even knowing where i was going? ~ani difranco

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Location: montreal, quebec, Canada


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

100 things i love

**thanks to susannah for this amazing idea.**

i've realized, again, exactly how affected i am by light.

yesterday it rained all day: i woke up and brewed coffee in the dark, wrote poetry as the storm pressed up against my window, and felt stressed, rushed, and restless the whole way through. for the most part, i was able to talk myself through it, but it still made me a little worried for winter.

in the past few weeks i have been extremely inspired by the works of masaru emoto. if you check out the link, you'll see the phenomenal work he's been doing with positive thinking and water. as the website says, "by producing different focused intentions through written and spoken words and music and literally presenting it to the same water samples, the water appears to "change its expression"."

that just makes an innate sense to me. i felt it, too, when i wrote the letter to myself, and when i released so much through the ceremony. retraining my thought processes has been challenging and fulfilling, and taken a lot longer than just the past week.

i'm sure i have a lot more learning to do on this path, but i am ready.

i want to be open to beauty. i want to be open to wonder. i want to be open to life, in all its aching, gorgeous uncertainty.

i feel the need to reset a little bit, to remind myself of all the goodness in the world that i have surrounded myself with.

100 things i love
  1. freshly brewed coffee in the morning.
  2. unexpected emails, phone calls, or visits from loved ones.
  3. wandering around art galleries for hours, looking at the paintings.
  4. long, lingering hugs.
  5. books, and everything to do with them - the stores they come in, their smell, the writing of, the reading of.
  6. travelling. anywhere.
  7. red fruit - pomegranates, strawberries, watermelon, cranberries, red grapes, raspberries.
  8. inspirational quotes.
  9. going for long, rambling walks with my headphones on.
  10. diner breakfasts at any time of the day. (eggs sunnyside up, sausage, brown toast.)
  11. collaging. i love looking through magazines to find that weird, out of context photo, or phrase.
  12. dancing - to any kind of music.
  13. music - any kind! loudly played.
  14. deep stretching, going to yoga class.
  15. my extremely strange, but extremely adorable cat, bean.
  16. the smell of freshly washed sheets after they've been dried outside.
  17. ethiopian food.
  18. making people laugh.
  19. the feel of a clean apartment.
  20. tulips.
  21. the memory of watching saturday morning cartoons with our best friends two years ago. we lived within two blocks of each other and the hobbit and i would stumble over first thing, bringing breakfast.
  22. my tribe: the friends back home; the friends here; the friends i've made through the blog; the friends who have moved away but taken a bit of me with them, leaving bits of themselves with me; my sister.
  23. my amazing, beautiful, loving, witty, kind, thoughtful, passionate love. i can't believe there's only one of you, and i found you.
  24. pictures. if i had my way, my apartment would be filled with pictures of my loved ones. soon.
  25. the ocean.
  26. bubble baths.
  27. mosaics.
  28. stones.
  29. going garbage collecting.
  30. the occasional pedicure.
  31. martinis.
  32. red wine.
  33. cuddling.
  34. hot showers.
  35. waking up in the morning and just lying, luxuriously, in bed for a few minutes.
  36. waking up beside him.
  37. silver.
  38. glitter.
  39. my favourite, worked-in pair of jeans.
  40. bathrobes.
  41. gardening. digging in the earth. growing things that nourish people.
  42. my scars - some from barbed wire, some from an operation, some from a bad bike accident. i love how they tell stories of who i am and what i was doing.
  43. cooking and baking.
  44. menstrual fingerpainting*. (i DEFINITELY recommend this. my best friend and i, while we were living together, were cycling at the same time and had one of the most laughter-filled, cathartic experiences ever. think prompts: paint how you treated your parents as a teenager, add two pre-menstrual ferocious women, and watch the hilarity ensue.)
  45. candles.
  46. being romanced.
  47. giving my time to a worthy cause.
  48. wood fires.
  49. walking barefoot through summer grass.
  50. road trips.
  51. dark chocolate.
  52. having long conversations.
  53. green. orange. blue. purple. red. yellow.
  54. rings.
  55. the goddess figurine rachelle gave me to inspire creativity.
  56. poetry. right now, specifically anne sexton, mary oliver, and michael ondaatje.
  57. kissing.
  58. watching movies - weird, funny ones.
  59. singing.
  60. juice. really, any kind.
  61. getting letters in the mail.
  62. really incredible, all-night-long lovemaking.
  63. sassy flowers: sunflowers, marigolds, tiger lilies.
  64. trees.
  65. the feeling of clay between my fingers.
  66. silky, shimmery fabrics.
  67. typewriters.
  68. peacock feathers.
  69. the sound of loons across a lake.
  70. dreams.
  71. gossip - as long as it's not meanly intentioned.
  72. the smell of nutmeg.
  73. going to live shows.
  74. getting a massage.
  75. flying.
  76. native american culture.
  77. eating.
  78. feeling organized.
  79. meditating.
  80. biking along a straight road.
  81. swimming.
  82. earl grey tea.
  83. givenchy perfume.
  84. making my own cosmetics.
  85. watching my crazy friends do poi.
  86. monarch butterflies.
  87. signs from the universe.
  88. finding things i'd completely forgotten about in pockets.
  89. brushing my teeth.
  90. children.
  91. the changing of seasons.
  92. acting goofy.
  93. listening.
  94. blogging.
  95. staying up all night, every once in a while.
  96. hardwood floors.
  97. listening to the radio.
  98. real connections with people.
  99. feelings of stillness.



Blogger Jessie said...

if i made a list of things i love, YOU, my dear, would definately be on it!

your ability to change things around you for the better--just by being you--is astounding. and i love it. :) you make me smile on a daily basis.

9:22 a.m.  
Blogger Deb R said...

That's a fabulous list (lots of "me toos" popping into my mind as I read it) and I love the photos you included, espeically that first one of the tree canopy. Beautiful!

9:49 a.m.  
Blogger Spiky Zora Jones said...

hey bee, loved your list of 100. though feeling still is...nah! the birds stop chirping and the crickets songs fade to nothing...there's a stillnesst. Then out of the darkness, a hairy hand goes over your mouth and youcan't scream...Help! whew! i like the air swirling like Vincent Van Gogh's...The Starry Nght. I did say...yeah me too on the scar thingy. i have one shaped like a cresent moon...it was a battle between good and evil. it is a true story. when asked about it...i go into bard mode and oops, sorry. i get carried away sometimes. i'll have to tell you some other time. later sweetie.

11:28 a.m.  
Blogger bee said...

jessie, i love you too. :)

deb r, the tree is a catalpa. i love that freaking word. it's so great. the two boys are my two of my best friends, aaron, and eric. (aaron and his girlfriend were the people we watched cartoons with.)

zora, i need to know the story about the scar. i mean, with a lead in like that??

3:52 p.m.  
Blogger b/sistersshoes said...

this was a fantastic list and the idea....what a good way to turn your world around,

feeling your love
xxx :Dar

5:33 p.m.  
Blogger Colorsonmymind said...

That photo is so amazing. WOW!

Your list resonated with me in so many ways.

6:21 p.m.  
Blogger ruby said...

love this post. we love a lot of the same things. i'm not surprised. ;)

8:30 p.m.  
Blogger Claire said...

Awesome list! I may have to snaffle the idea for sometime soon. Loved many of the things you mentioned...great minds!


1:31 a.m.  
Blogger Susannah said...

i would say a big YES to every single one of those :-) xox

3:50 p.m.  
Blogger Wenda said...

I've just found your blog (through Jessie's, I think) and have had a good long read. Though I haven't stopped to comment until now, I don't want to leave without letting you know how much I enjoyed my visit and your writing.

1:51 a.m.  

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