in a gentle way, you can shake the world. ~mohandas gandhi

my heart is so full, and i feel so light.

last night i did the ritual; although really it was me, crouched on the floor of my living room, surrounded by candles and incense, writing. i wrote and wrote and wrote - things i wanted to let go of, things i wanted to call to my life, things about this journey that i wanted to keep and remember.

i wrote until the page was full, and then i stopped, and looked at it - and put my forehead on the floor. i breathed, in and out, over and over, and i felt something in me disintegrate and fall away.

i rolled the paper up into a cylinder and took it into my bathroom. i stood in the bath tub and struck a match and held it up to the words i had written.

my words burned away, until all that was left were the silvery ashes floating around my feet.

i put the ashes in a small bowl, took the bowl to my balcony, and released it to the wind. (i'm sure the man who was letting his dog pee on the hedge by my building wondered what the hell i was doing).

i went to bed early, and slept well. i needed to give myself rest; i am taking seriously this vow to take care of myself first. that means following, a little, lynn's prescription and SERIOUSLY cutting back on my stress. it means eating well. it means living consciously, and with intention.

when i woke up this morning, i felt light. that is the only way i can describe it - the weight that's been living with me for how long now had been released. i put on the pot of coffee and made breakfast, and, as i almost always do, i checked my favourite blogs before i went to work.

and i received a gift that left me absolutely speechless.

i want to thank each and every one of you beautiful souls who took the time to read and support me yesterday - your words and good wishes meant the absolute world to me. i felt accepted, held up, and understood, and that was invaluable.

however, i must send my most heartfelt gratitude to one woman in particular; a woman who i have just begun to know but who is already an amazing inspiration to me. thank you, beautiful you (you know who you are) for knowing exactly what i needed and giving me that feeling that i've been searching for, for years. i don't know how, or why, but it was magical. it was such a humbling, awe-inspiring experience to read your words and feel them bathe me in your acceptance and wisdom.

thank you. all of you. knowing you has healed me, in more ways than i can describe. thank you, and much love to us all tonight.