waiting on the front porch

she just stood there on the front porch waiting for her will to come and get her she was packed she had a suitcase full of noble intentions she had a map and a straight face hell bent on reinvention she was learning about please and huge humilities then one day she looked around her and everything up til then was showing and she wondered how did i get here without even knowing where i was going? ~ani difranco

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Location: montreal, quebec, Canada


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

i'm feeling quiet today. it was foggy when i woke up and it still hasn't lifted; i'm hoping a shower and an extra cup of coffee will do the trick for me.

i've been given the 'tough' prescription to go easy on myself for the next little while - to take care of my primary needs: to sleep enough, to eat well, to be gentle with my heart.

ironically, or perhaps not, this can be hard for me to do. i have superhero boots for a reason - i like to think i can do anything, no matter what the workload; i can support anyone, no matter what the problem. i try to be a good friend.

one thing i need to learn is how to be a better friend to myself. i think, i know this means learning how to ask for help, and accept it, when i need it; to take deep breaths and let things go; to enjoy the moment and not worry so much; to love and cherish the person i am just as much in uncomfortable times as in good ones.

today i'm going to wear my gold lame tiger shirt - it'll make me feel ferocious and pretty, two things i haven't been feeling much of, of late. i'm going to schedule a hair cut. i'm going to take a long walk in this chilly autumn weather, make rice for dinner, and go to bed early. i'm going to do some yoga for the first time in a long time.
i'm going to be a friend to myself.
by Jennifer Edwards

But also
take comfort, healing, rest and love
Leave sorrow amongst the rocks and woods who most of the time
are far stronger
better able to handle such loads

Take courage
But also,
take honesty, courtesy, empathy and patience
Leave doubt
amidst the deep ocean waters
watch it sink there until you cannot cling to it any longer

Take faith
but leave with an open mind, an open hand, open arms
Take whatever you need to make it through
leave what keeps you from going on
Tears only go so far
Fear only holds so long
Though your feet may bleed and your hands, tremble
Take deep compassion for the suffering of another
and journey on


Blogger ruby said...

so glad to hear this! i love the idea of being a friend to yourself...have a lovely day....

10:43 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you Bee! I think you need this very much and the decision to be your own best friend right now and to be kind and gentle to yourself shows your personal wisdom.

I haven't received email from you so just in case you don't have my email it's: sue ridler @ gmail . com

12:08 p.m.  
Blogger Susannah said...

i'm doing a bit of this too this week - being my own best friend, trying (usually in vain) to get more sleep... to chill out... to move more too (as my life is so stationary)... i want to see a pic of you in that shirt - it's sounds *fabulous* xx

2:03 p.m.  
Blogger Spiky Zora Jones said...

Bee...awesome poem. I love it. Jennifer Edwards rocks. Hey I also think you are right. You would look ferocious and pretty in your tiger shirt...Grrr. Lucky you...I love the fog. I feel invisible in it. Later babes...kick back.

2:24 p.m.  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Definitely do some stuff for you. Way to go!

I love that poem. I think I needed to read that. Thank you for sharing it.

9:02 p.m.  
Blogger Lynn said...

Do take care of yourself ~ always my dear.

9:16 p.m.  
Blogger Jessie said...

I take great comfort in this post...as I often do in your writing. And one thing that I have always admired about your blog is your ability to express the details of not only your day, but your feelings, too.
love to you,

7:29 p.m.  

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